Everybody feels anxious from time to time. Anxiety is a human reaction that we often experience when there is something stressful or scary going on.
In today’s world, everything seems to move quickly. We are constantly consuming information and are always connected to others. This can lead us to feel like we must be available at the touch of a button.
Our minds are busy, even if we are not.
When do we stop?
We are often rushing through life without even realising we’re doing it. Hurrying home after work so we can relax, trying to get chores done as quickly as possible, looking forward to the weekend only to spend it worrying about Monday.
We’re always trying to fit so much in. Checking our emails whilst exercising, researching our next holiday whilst watching a film, replying to messages whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. We rarely do one thing at once, and whilst this can of course be great for productivity, it doesn’t give our brains much opportunity to fully engage with the present moment.
We often focus on what’s coming up next rather than experiencing the moment we’re in.
In today’s world, the use of social media can intensify this. Scrolling through different social media apps mirrors this fast-moving pace of life. We can consume hundreds of pieces of information in minutes, and this can make our minds feel even busier.
Giving ourselves time to feel
In such a fast-paced world it can be difficult to find time to allow ourselves to feel, or to even know when we might benefit from doing this.
When something difficult happens, our instinct can be to distract ourselves.
We pick up our phones and scroll. We go to work. We make plans. We watch something on the TV.
Sometimes, we genuinely need that distraction and the space to take our minds off things. However, when we always distract and it becomes our main way of coping, we can lose opportunities to understand how we’re actually feeling.
Feelings don’t necessarily disappear just because we ignore them.
When anxiety feels like our default
When we’re constantly on the go both mentally and physically, we can become accustomed to being ‘on’. Our minds scan for the next thing that needs our attention without even thinking about it.
What do I need to do tomorrow?
Did I send that email?
What did they mean by that message?
What if something goes wrong?
Eventually, feeling slightly on edge can begin to feel normal.
Slowing down
Slowing down can feel surprisingly uncomfortable. When we’re used to filling every quiet moment, silence can create space for thoughts and feelings that we may have been avoiding.
You might suddenly notice that you’re sad, or angry or that something you’ve been telling yourself is ‘fine’ actually isn’t.
Whilst this may feel uncomfortable, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, we need the opportunity to acknowledge an emotion before we can begin to understand what it means for us.
Feeling something is not the same as being overwhelmed by it.
Next time you go for a walk, or sit down for a cup of coffee, try just doing that. No checking your emails and messages, no scrolling on social media, no listening to or watching something. Just experience what’s in your mind and see what comes up for you.
You don’t have to rush through your feelings
If we are feeling anxious, naturally we can want to push this away. We want to calm down, stop worrying, stop overthinking, feel better.
Of course, there are times when we may need support or strategies to manage our anxiety.
Other times however, it may be helpful to ask ourselves; what might be underneath the anxiety?
Is there fear? Sadness? Pressure? A need to feel in control? A worry that we’re not good enough? A boundary that isn’t being respected? A need for rest?
In today’s world it can feel like we need to move on quickly.
Be positive.
Keep going.
Stay busy.
Sometimes though, to be able to process and move through a feeling, we need to take the time to feel it.
If anxiety has become your ‘normal’
If you feel as though you’re constantly ‘on’, struggling to switch off or rarely have space to understand how you’re actually feeling, counselling can provide an opportunity to slow things down in a confidential, non-judgmental space.
